I don't know when it happened or why no one notified me. I just woke up went to work found myself in the mist of stupid office etiquette.
I leave my office door shut. If I'm in or out. The door is shut. I don't like the sounds of others pretending to work interfering with me actually working. I enjoy to listening to my I-pod when I'm surrounded by mounds of files. I prefer the look my door over the look of my coworkers tacky outfits. I want my door shut.
For some reason my coworkers don't agree with me. They have launched a full attack on me and my door policy. It started with a knock. A simple knock that I planed to ignore. But before I  had a chance to put my plan in action the door was opened. I was faced with small talk. "Hey" He said with a confused look I knew could only lead to a migraine. "Hey yourself, You need something" I replied with a sweetness that was strained.
" No I was walking by, saw your door shut wanted to see what was going on"
"Nothing is going on, Working as like normal."
"O.k, See you later"
He left and leaving the door open. The battle began.
The door Nazi's have been attacking me all week entering my office for nothing and exiting with out shutting the door behind them. They have also informed me that office etiquette is to only shut your door when I'm in a meeting or on a call. I worked  hard to earn this door. For two years I stayed in cubical hell. Forced to endure stupid half walls that they learned over and yelled past. I sacrificed  boyfriends and parties all in the name of career advancement. My prize is the door. How dare the tell what to do with it.
I will win the war. It will be clear. I like my door shut.

I've been watching the greatest fight ever. My Past V.S. My Present. Just when i think that my present has my past on the ropes or that my past is about to TKO my present. Things change and it becomes, one again, unclear who will win.

I sure this is epic battle that rages on inside everyone filling their life with moments where who you used to be way back when clashes with who you are now. In theses moment I fell like all my progress to be a better human being was a wasted effort. Almost as if i should have remained uninfluenced by other views on my life. I start to question if i made changes for me or for others.

After about twenty min of this self doubt and loathing. I get over myself. Change is hard and going back is easy. I don't want to always take the easy way out.